Here I Come. Finally.

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It took me almost two years to step out on this limb that I’m on. And all it took was a conversation.

I dont know what it is in me that causes me to so fear the unknown but it was paralyzing and it was deep, y’all. So deep that everything I touched remained unfinished.

A friend asked me if I’m afraid of success. And it’s actually not the success part that I’m afraid of. I’m afraid of being successful but not being able to hold on to that success. Like being in a bubble and then — POP.

I have fallen before. And I never got up, afraid that the road ahead would be a mountain that I’d have to climb.

I felt it was better for me to just go sit down somewhere.

And there I’ve remained. For years.

The reality of it embarrasses me.

I’ve had some pretty good excuses though. I’ve had a couple (several?) babies, moved a couple (several?) times and have had to start over in new states. Which meant getting kids adjusted to new schools, ironing out daily life details, holding down the household.

There was no way I could chase my dreams with all that going on, right? Right??

I fooled myself into thinking that I couldn’t do it because I had too much standing in my way.

My biggest regret is that I wasted so much time.

But the good thing about sitting down for so long is that I’m WELL rested and I’m ready to run.

Watch out now. Here I come.

Have you ever been afraid to really dream and go for it? Do share.

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6 thoughts on “Here I Come. Finally.

  1. This resonates so strongly with me. I wrote in my journal recently about my fears… turns out I fear it all! lol Success, failure… and so it put me at a stand still. Now I am working on practicing courage instead. Thanks for the post!

  2. Being a stay-at-home for five and a half years, I’ve had many (mostly men) tell me how much time I’m “wasting.” My kids would tell you differently. I love that they’ll grow up and remember that Mom was always around for them. Raising children is the hardest job in the world! We only have them for such a short time, and then before we know it, they go out into the world as adults. I commend you for all you have been through!

    • Thank you. It really is hard work and I am so grateful for my husband who is really supportive and helped me make the decision to stay home with our girls. Thanks!

  3. This post really hits the spot for us! It’s comforting to know that we are not alone in this battle to start and live our dreams! I totally agree and know exactly what you mean, it’s definitely an internal battle. Thanks for sharing!

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